The strategy that I would use to support a child feeling envy versus jealousy would be very different. So, knowing that you’re feeling envious or jealous, and being clear about what underlies envy (wanting what someone else has) versus jealousy (feeling threatened about the possible loss of someone that you care about), is really critical for knowing the right pathway to take for helpful emotion regulation. MB: There’s an expression that people use in our circles: If you can name it, you can tame it. JS: In your RULER program, why is labeling emotions so important? They ask themselves, Is this person feeling disappointment or anger? Am I hearing about unmet expectations or about unfairness? An emotion scientist can pick up on nuances based on the questions they ask, which helps them label feelings more accurately and in turn regulate more effectively. In some ways, an emotion scientist is about becoming more precise. The emotion scientist is looking for themes and trying to understand what’s behind people’s behavior or inability to regulate emotions. An emotion scientist is someone who asks really good questions to ensure that they understand their own feelings, as well as other people’s feelings. We often make very quick snap judgments about how people feel based on their facial expressions and their body language and their behavior. MB: Many of us are closed off to our feelings and other people’s feelings. JS: In your book, you encourage people to be what you call an “emotion scientist” as opposed to an “emotion judge.” What do you mean by that? So, I think the evidence is pretty clear that emotional intelligence, controlling for all other competing variables-like intelligence and personality traits-is a set of skills that really matter for people’s dreams to come true. They tend to have better-quality relationships, tend to perform better academically and in the workplace. ![]() They tend to make better decisions in life. People with higher emotional intelligence tend to have greater psychological health, are less anxious and less depressed or less burned out at work. Mark Brackett: We’ve done a lot of studies which show that emotional intelligence is predictive of really important life outcomes. Jill Suttie: Why is emotional intelligence so important? Join us on October 29 in Berkeley to hear social-emotional education pioneer Marc Brackett talk about his new book, Permission to Feel. To date, RULER has been taught in nearly 2,000 schools across the United States, helping children improve their ability to learn, form relationships, and find success in life. To that end, he’s led the development of an emotion skills-building program called RULER that aims to increase children’s ability to recognize emotions in themselves and others, understand where their emotions come from, label emotions more precisely, express emotions in different contexts, and regulate (or manage) emotions more effectively. Our emotions are important clues to how we are experiencing the world, helping us make decisions, build good relationships, fulfill our dreams, and cultivate well-being.īrackett says we need to encourage more emotional expression-not less-and that we should teach emotion skills to people starting from a young age. ![]() So, we end up repressing our emotions or pushing them away, making us feel inauthentic, unmotivated, depressed, or worse.Īccording to Marc Brackett, founder of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the new book Permission to Feel, this is a terrible mistake. ![]() If we are angry, we are told to calm down if we are sad, we are told to get over it. Many of us get the message that our emotions are not OK.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |